riceonthebass

“I think you’re an alcoholic.” she says for the hundredth time.

Confused denial erupts at the other end of the phone line.

Firmly and absolutely, she says “You need to get help, i can’t do this anymore.”

Feigned acceptance is the response on the other end and the call ends.

After a day or two spent alone, mulling it over, he decides to get online and prove one of them wrong. Google search is a beautiful thing. First, alcoholic+test. Bingo! Several to choose from. He chooses the one that had five different tests, just to make sure.

The questions: How often do you drink? A few times a week. How much do you drink? Depends on the occasion, but 4-8 drinks if i’m really on a tear. Do you drink in the morning? Nope. Does drinking cause problems with loved ones? Obviously. Has someone close to you expressed concern about your drinking? Repeatedly. Has drinking affected your career? Sometimes i feel like i get paid to party, so…no. Have you ever woken up after drinking and not remembered the night before? Yes, alot. Do you ever get the shakes if you go without a drink? No. Have you ever had feelings of regret after a night of heavy drinking? You bet. Have you ever been in trouble with the law as a result of drinking? No.

The tests were all slightly different, but all showed the same results: YOU ARE AN ALCOHOLIC! CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN IMMEDIATELY OR CALL 1-800-MCDRUNK FOR HELP.

Disbelief, denial, shame, anger, more denial. “There are alcoholics in my family, but alcoholics are people who wake up and need a drink right away. They shake and sweat if they don’t get their sweet nectar.” More research….another google search: alcoholism.

Some things hit home for him as he reads. The category of the abuser is the person who drinks to get drunk and then continues to drink in spite of troubles with work, the law or loved ones, as a result of the drinking. Side effects include depression and mood swings. Sometimes called the binge drinker. Nothing has ever fit him so well.

He quits for her, but stays sober for him. This particular chemistry experiment is over.

It has been 95 days today.